The perils over over-celebration…

Keen readers of this blog (hello?) may remember a post from a year or so ago about the 200m runner who started celebrating way too early, was duly overtaken and came fourth.

Well, today we bring you the evolution of that.

Picture the scene. You have achieved a lifetime ambition of playing in the Brazilian League. You are a striker. But you are yet to score in front of a cast of thousands. It is the albatross round your neck, weighing you down.

But then… a ball is whipped in from the right. You’ve stolen a yard on the defender, nipped in front of him, and BANG, the ball is in the back of the net. The ambition is complete.

Only one thing left to do…. celebrate.

But beware celebrating too hard, as you may look foolish. So spare a thought for 19-year old Maurides, who did exactly this for Internacional…

His method of celebration – an arab spring (remember them from school) followed by a back flip….. followed by a sprained knee upon landing. And being stretchered off… In front of thousands.

What a goon.

GFC 4EVA

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Tips for pulling on Tour…

This weekend sees the annual Goldfingers FC Tour, which this year heads to Nottingham. There remain a few single Fingers, and I am sure they will be more than keen to sample the ladyform that Nottingham has to offer.

However, wanting it is one thing. Converting it is another. And if, like Pembo, you have been sat at home, chimping yourself red, often taking the days tally into double figures and drawing blood, while smearing your own faeces on the wall (probably), then you need all the help you can get.

Fortunately, the Internet’s main Casanova is on hand to give you his top ten chat up lines*. If these don’t work, then you may as well do the decent thing…. and hang yourself:

Update: Just heard Pembo isn’t going… Oh well..

Good luck lads

GFC 4EVA

* I give it about ten minutes before a “it’s you, Kano…”

Drama? What drama?

Ah…. the magic of the cup. The cold January afternoons. The upsets. The “winner takes all” approach. The pouting massively effeminate goalkeepers. You can’t beat it….

Unless….

It goes to penalties…

And then it is agony. How often has your team been in a shootout and lost. I will wager it is more often than not. I’m talking to you, England Football Team.

So the relief, excitement and jubilation was palpable this weekend when the mighty Fingers edged out MGA Vets. 3-3 after 90 minutes. 4-4 after 120 minutes.

And eventually, when it was almost dark, 5-4 winners on penalties after seven attempts each.

Heart in mouth, but worth it.

Goldfingers FC vs MGA Vets FC Penalty Shootout

Roll on the quarters.

GFC 4EVA

Rory wastes no time…

Right, let’s give this a shot in the arm then…

Earlier today, it was announced that Rory McIlroy had signed a deal with Nike for a measly $156 million.

They’ve wasted no time in getting him as the face of the company with an immediate viral with Tiger Woods. It’s decent…

Let’s be honest, he’s not got the worst gig going… Jets round the world to play golf, earns millions, steps out with Caroline Wozniacki…

And now ripping it out of the Tiger for being old.

Cap doffed, Mr McIlroy….

Outstanding goal from one-legged player

Right,

New season, time to give this another go.

And we kick off with what is easily the best goal I have ever seen scored by a one-legged player. After the amazing exploits by the Paralympians, it just goes to show that “impossible” really is “nothing”.

My cap is doffed, sir.

Nothing worse than a staged penalty going wrong…

God it’s been a while since one of these…

At Goldfingers FC, it really did take a while for us to determine who was our main penalty taker. Berry and Diamo used to scuffle like Bury’s Steven Schumacher and Giles Coke of Bury FC.

Also, used to love the way Diamo thought he was Beppe Signori with his one step run-ups… *shakes head and smirks disapprovingly*

But now we have settled and Pano just “buries” them.

When “choreographed” penalties work, they look very good. However, it seems they rarely do, and when they don’t they look beyond embarrassing. So this goon from Uzbekistan has got to be pretty gutted….

What a goon…

GFC 4EVA

Own Goal of the Season?

We love an own goal, except when Weird Ben piledrives it through our own net. We don’t like that. So we think this has got to be an early contender for Own Goal of the Season.

How on earth did he manage that? What was he thinking?

GFC 4EVA